} EUGH

I'm starting to be able to put up with my mum more now. Or at least, I don't cringe everytime I see her. Sure, I still can't help making a weird face when talking to her, like it's unnatural to say a single word to her, but I'm getting better everyday, really.

Now the thing that really bugs me about my mum is the fact that she's so darn paranoid. If she wasn't quite so paranoid, my dad wouldn't be having second thoughts about my family holiday. Fine, so a family holiday isn't exactly the most exciting thing in mind, but I'm sure some time away from this place will do me some good. At least it's better than hanging around in this stupid, almost too-safe country while my mum pester me to take up a part-time job.

I'd rather go back to Indonesia and face the threats of being bombed than hang around here with no excitement. OK, so I guess the idea of working part-time can seem just a LITTLE exciting, after all it'll be a new experience, I can meet new people and stuff, but it isn't exactly the most compelling idea to spend my holiday, or at least not to me.

Now I'm dreading to show that form to my mum and dad. That form, that letter that I got from school about the entrepreneurship workshop thing over the holidays. I'm POSITIVE that they want me to take part. And if I don't want to, what will they say? I can barely bring myself to imagine how they're gonna react.

Oh well. I gotta face them some time anyway, cos sooner or later I'll feel guilty if I don't show them that stupid piece of paper. Maybe if I can hide the paper from them after showing it, they'll soon forget all about it... After all, I managed to get my mum to stop thinking that I should get a part-time job at Kinokuniya. But I dunno if I'll be able to come up with a good excuse this time. I'm running out, and plain ol' 'I don't want to' doesn't seem to be the perfect solution in this case.

I'm stumped. Why can't my parents just TRY to understand me for once? That I do NOT need to know anything about entrepreneurship at this stage, cos it's all gonna be forgotten away anyway? I mean, it's not like I'm gonna remember it forever, till I'm twenty or something, when I'm looking for a job. And when I fill out a job application, they think 'I went for an entrepreneurship workshop in secondary school' will help at all?? I would probably forget about it by the time I'm in Junior College!!

The problem with my parents is that they try too hard. They interfere too much, they just simply TRY to understand me far too much. Why can't they just be like other parents and just give in, knowing that it's JUST A TEENAGE PHASE and nothing they do will ever change anything??

In fact, I'm showing my mum and dad the letter right after this. My dad will probably want me to go, but if I don't want to, then I'm not going. Even if I have to be drafted into the army to get away from it or something equally torturous, I don't care. I'll show them that if they can be persistent, I can be resistant. They've been pestering me long enough, and I'm fed up. I can't stand it anymore. I don't wanna put up with it anymore. I'm sick of it. My sister is in Junior College, and yet both my parents never say a word to her about getting a job. Why me?? What the heck is wrong with my parents???!!!

Everything seems so unfair. I mean, this is the kind of treatment my SISTER should be getting, cos she's older, she's nearer to college, to university, to getting a job. Why do my parents have to pester ME to get a part-time job, to go to stupid painting workshops, and about A MILLION OTHER DAMNED THINGS THAT I REALLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT???!!!

All right, I guess I really burst right then and there. But can I help it?

Maybe I should just stop typing, show my parents the letter and see their reaction. Who cares if they get mad and ground me or do something equally stupid? At least I'll know that I've gotten my way.

Like I got my way last year when I had to choose the secondary school I wanted to go to. My mum was insisting that I go to either the ultimate top school, i.e. the school for dorks and all those stuck-up kind of people, or the school just behind my apartment. She says it will save money, cos then I just have to walk to school and she doesn't have to waste any money on petrol cos then she doesn't have to drive me to school. Excuse me, but am I some sort of liability?? Do I mean nothing to this family if I don't mean anything productive, or cash-producing? Am I just a scab, just a piece of trash that she has to put up with until I have to work for myself and she can enjoy her retirement money?? Well, one thing is for sure, if I become successful one day, only my dad can stay at my mansion. At least he makes me laugh sometimes.

What the heck am I talking about anyway?? Talking about my mum has led me into thinking about stupid thoughts...I guess it came from her genes. ARRRGGHH!!!

This is it. I'll show 'em the letter, and whether they like it or not, I'm NOT going.

2002-10-27, 8:47 p.m..
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