} as random as brownian motion

i remember this afternoon i had SO MUCH to blog about, but diaryland was down and i was so so frustrated, i felt restrained, like how one feels when one suddenly needs to pee while on a long bus ride. but now i've forgotten what i wanted to say.

oh yeah actually the other day i was thinking that buses and trains should be equipped with toilets... if planes can have them why not buses and trains, yknow?

oh and it rained today. the weather is much cooler. i like to think its the result of my sleeping without air-con the past few nights. =) hahaha.

hm what else. oh i think i figured out why i love long walks/runs/bus rides so much (not MRT, theres hardly anything romantic about being sandwiched in a carriage while the corny prevent-terrorism video plays, but i do wana ride in a real train one day)... i think im just in love with the whole idea of journeys. traveling. sometimes when i go somewhere i think i enjoy the plane ride even more than the holiday itself... lol. but i guess the destination is also part of what makes the journey so exciting.

i've also been thinking about death. in a curious, non-morbid way really. am i the only one who's dying (ha ha, no pun intended) to know if there's really an afterlife? how does it feel to be DEAD? hmmm.. im curious and scared to know all at the same time. more scared than curious, to be honest, but im just a teeny tiny bit curious about how its like. but i'd rather not know, i'd rather be surprised when the time comes. =D

and then there's the thoughts about reality and perception. the whole matrix, what-if-what-we're-experiencing-is-not-real thing. what if blue to my eyes is not the same blue as yours? what if words look totally different to your eyes? maybe thats why people have different favourite colours, favourite foods... when in fact its all the same thing? what if we're all liking the same thing but they just look/smell/taste/feel different to us? ...MIND-BOGGLING. maybe my world is totally different from others'. that makes me feel sad for others and sad for myself. sad for others because, the world as i see it is so beautiful. sad for myself because, the world as i see it is also so troubled.

my own dilemmas are selfishly at the frontier of my mind, but im slowly taking steps away from indecision, and somewhere in the deeper recesses of my brain i worry about other things. like myanmar, the cyclone. how can they turn away aid for the sake of their people? its incomprehensible what people would and could do for power.

i went to the library today, wanted to return A Suitable Boy because i've already renewed it and i thought the new deadline was tomorrow. it turned out the due date was 13 may. =| so i decided to keep the book a bit longer and try to finish it. (im not even halfway done though.. i have a feeling i could skip several chapters and still understand the story. i duno.)

and i went to shop n save cos thats the supermarket at west mall, and i bought a very healthy Banana Nut Cereal. the following text is taken directly from the back of the box: "We should all aspire to live like bananas."

...(uh, what?)

"...They are on permanent vacation, living in lush, tropical rainforests." (ah...ok.) they are also picked, cut up and processed into cereal, though. im not sure i want to live like a banana.

2008-05-14, 10:10 p.m..
before } after