} about a boy, about a girl

today i spent most of the afternoon reading the book About A Boy by Nick Hornby, because thats the sort of thing you do when you are in a foreign country and havent got reunion dinners to go to on the eve of chinese new year. well thats besides the point. anyway, i borrowed the book just for light reading, cos i thought it would be one of those light-hearted funny books, and it was in a way, but it also had a lot of serious bits in it about people and the meaning of life etc which i never expected from it.

it made me realise something, but i didnt know what, it took me a shower to ponder and realise what i realised, if that makes any sense at all. anyway. what i realised was that people are all different.

you are probably thinking, 'Wow. Big deal.' it probably sounds like i JUST made the discovery that the earth is round and not flat or something like that. i mean, i've known the fact all along, but it feels as though i've only just accepted it.

i better hurry and get to my point now before i totally lose track of what i want to say (which happens a lot). well the fact is that, i've always been unhappy, and i've always wanted someone who can understand me. i've always wanted to have friends who share the same interest, who always know what i'm feeling, who i can always talk to about anything, who will always be there for me, etc etc. but the thing is, i've realised that i can never have all that. not in one person, or in one group of people, anyway.

which brings me to the realisation. that people are all different. take for example Ying Ri, who is my classmate and one of the people i usually hang out with in school. just yesterday, after the school's CNY celebrations, what i really felt like doing was go somewhere to play pool. but she doesnt like playing pool, and we couldnt think of anything to do, and ended up just going back home. i spent the next few hours wishing my closest friend in school could share the same interest as me, but i was really being an idiot.

cos we do. share the same interests. not all, but some. she likes detective stories too, and also reads sherlock holmes, although in chinese. she's one of the few people who would bother listening to me, or trying to laugh even when i'm obviously not funny. and she and Anita are probably the only ones i can hang out with comfortably in school, and they are the ones who would be there for me.

different people, different friends, share different interests. Denise is a fellow Goo Goo Dolls fan, while Suhui is probably the only person who doesnt give me a weird look, or would even join me, whenever i question every little thing about the world (like why there is such a thing as tapioca flour, but not potato flour. isnt tapioca sort of like sweet potato?). and as i've found out today, Gloria and Novita are nice people to shop with. and the list goes on (although i have to admit i dont really have that many friends).

basically, its stupid to wish for everything in just one friend, or even a few friends. thats the reason why, i think, you've got to try to make as many friends as possible, although it doesnt mean you've got to get along with everybody. if they are nice, and im the one being antisocial, then its obviously my problem. but if i try to talk, and they act like i dont exist, or im not worth their time, then its probably not worth my time either.

maybe one day i will meet someone who i can watch football with without feeling embarrassed, like in case i cheer at the wrong times or mis-identify a player, or have a drink with (i've always wanted to try drinking beer, although i've never told anyone, in case i start sounding like a hooligan, or just someone trying to act cool). and someone who i can always play pool with, or mahjong, or k-box. and someone who likes drawing as much as i do. and someone who also has an identity crisis (no elaboration here). anyway, it doesnt have to be now, and it doesnt have to be with the people i've already known.

so thats what i wanted to say basically. haha. oh and i do recommend reading About A Boy by Nick Hornby if you're looking for something not too exhausting to read. haha. its funny, its honest, and it has Hugh Grant on the cover. aha. =)

2007-02-17, 7:55 p.m..
before } after