} lies?

have been downloading and reading Fruits Basket... but I'm missing chapters 127 & 128.. .__.'' its so saddd... (the story i mean, not that i have missing chapters..) well actually it's both happy and sad at the same time, haha, i cant decide, and im being confusing as usual arent i.

although the part of the story which really struck me isn't even the climax, it was the part where (sorry you are going to be really lost here if you dont read furuba) Kagura said, in a narrative,

'i dreamed of a "beautiful me" who could accept "kyo the monster".'

and it made me think,
how many times have i treated someone out of pity?
just to make myself feel good?
as if i was superior?
because another person's inferior state comforts me?
although it surely only makes me the most rotten one of all...

and while i leave you with these questions which are not even directed at anyone but myself (T_T) i also have to say that i have been questioning myself the same way since some time ago.

and im still trying to be more sincere.

im really sorry if i've been such a hypocrite.
the great pretender.

but i will keep trying. to be more genuine.

2006-11-03, 11:44 p.m..
before } after