} A serious entry. Seriously.

I'm extremely bored, so I'm writing another entry.

I watched Goldmember yesterday on DVD. IT WAS DAMN FUNNY... FWAH I WAS LAUGHING ALL NIGHT!!!! Oh wait. I just remembered that I'm supposed to be writing serious things in here. (Look in previous entry.) So I'll say this seriously: I'll never look at apple juice the same way again.

I watched a French movie just now, which was extremely stupid and weird. Kind of funny, in a way, but still weird and stupid. Don't get me wrong, I haven't transformed into a bilingual freak within one day - I read the subtitles. =P

I'm trying to think of a serious topic to seriously talk about now. Maybe I'll discuss this SARS thing, and about schools being closed, and my views on it. In a serious way.

This Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) has affected more than a hundred people in Singapore in total. In less than a month. That is quiet admirable for a teeny weeny organism, as deadly and evil as it is. But is it necessary to close schools and wear masks wherever we go and be trapped at home to rot? (Or at least, that's the case for me. -__-;)

Considering the fact that this issue comes up on Channel News Asia every few seconds, it must be a pretty serious issue. The only other news interrupting this one is the news on the war in Iraq. Which is a pretty serious issue too, but it's hard to talk seriously about two serious issues in one entry, so I'll just talk about one serious issue at a time. This SARS thing.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. SARS is a very serious issue indeed. One cough from an infected person and that's it, la di da, you're dead, mate. (That rhymes! O__O) Oh, wait a sec. Not all the SARS patients die? Oh, yes. OK, OK, let me correct the statement.

One cough from an infected person and that's it, la di da, you have a statistical 99.9% chance of dying, mate. (That doesn't rhyme.)

There. Is that better? OK.

But closing the schools - is that necessary? Does the government think that we students are THAT stupid? If one of us happens to have a fever, that person *should* have the sense to stay at home. I mean, I know it's bad to miss school and lessons, yada yada, but trust me, it is NOT nice to spend half a day walking deliriously around the school.

And what's the problem with my mum??? She doesn't let me out of the house - at all. She must be stricken with an even worse disease than SARS.

But maybe I should look at it from a different point of view. THE SARS VIRUS COULD HAVE MUTATED INTO AN AIR-BORNE VIRUS. In that case, one cough and that's it, la di da, an entire population has a statistical 99.9% chance of dying. So it's no longer safe to step out of the house!!! Yes, my friends, it's not even safe to open the windows or even breathe. That's right, hold your breath, or you'll get SARS and die in utmost pain.

So I should be thanking my mum for confining me inside the house. And I should be running to Tan Tock Seng Hospital right now, crying. Because I have a sore throat, which is the beginning of a flu, which is probably the beginning of SARS. In days I could DIE, people!!!

OK OK, so not really. My sore throat is getting better, I think. I hope so.

So the bottom line is this: DO NOT EXPOSE YOURSELF TO OUTSIDE AIR. Curl up in bed with the windows and curtains closed, and switch on the air-conditioner. No, hold on! Clean the air-conditioner first, then switch it on. OK, now you're safe. That is, unless there is someone else in the house who maybe coming down with SARS. In that case, lock the door and never open it again. Arm yourself with fruits and vegetables and other healthy snacks and a lifetime supply of Vanilla Coke. It's not safe to ever go out again, dear.

Switch on the TV, now. In fear, watch the countless reports of the SARS cases. Tremble. Now. Curl up in bed, clutch your blanket and hug Mr Fuzzy. Whisper to him : "At least you're not sick, Mr Fuzzy. At least I'm safe with you. Now I can spend the rest of my life locked in this room and talking to an inanimate object like you, Mr Fuzzy! Away from SARS, away from the sick infected world!!! Hahahahahahah.."

Continue your maniacal laughter. There we go, a re-make of Nightmare at Elmstreet 2.

Oh. The last few paragraphs have absolutely nothing to do with what I was talking about before? Err... sorry. But if you really wanted to hear about SARS, you should be watching the news right now. You really shouldn't be here.

I realise that this whole entry has been nothing but an incomprehensible bunch of rants.

Don't blame me. I have this curse, you see - I have trouble writing things that actually make sense. Maybe it's karma, because I seriously like mocking serious issues.

Sign my G-Book and hopefully it'll put some sense into me. Being trapped at home for about three weeks is getting me over the edge.

2003-04-06, 3:52 p.m..
before } after