} Some philosophical thoughts. But who cares about those. LORD OF THE RINGS ROCKS!!!

Today is Monday. It's back to school on Thursday. Maybe THAT explains why I feel so darn miserable right now.

It's like that saying, 'Good things always come to an end'. I knew this holiday wouldn't last, I knew I can never hold on to it. I know that, on the first few days of my holiday, I kept on saying how bored I was. Now, I think I'd rather be bored than face school for another torturous year. After my really really lovely vacation to my home country, and after watching The Two Towers with a very very good friend Masty, the holiday just suddenly improved by, like, more than a mile. At first I felt so mixed up. Like I wanna hold on to something, but at the same time I know I have to move on. I felt so darn mixed up that I wrote a poem about it. It's called 'Nothing Words Can Describe', because it's really indescribable. I'd probably have to invent a hundred new English words just to describe the horrible feeling.

For some strange reason, I don't really feel that way anymore. I've realized a lot of things. Things I could have realized ages ago if only I had just looked a little more carefully at everything around me.

For example, there was this time when I was on the Net, and I was going to leave a message on an online message board. There was this girl that also lived in Singapore, who will be going to secondary school for the first time next year. Her message said that she was really worried about it. She's worried that she wouldn't have time for anything else, for free time and stuff, because of the new workload: what I call Secondary School Stress. So, having experienced my own first year in secondary school, I gave her some advice. I told her that there's nothing to worry about, that she will be able to find time to do things that are important to her. The thing that I never realized is that THAT is EXACTLY how I feel about the new year ahead. I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll be so preoccupied with school things, that I wouldn't have time to go out with friends, to have fun, to spend some quality time doing the things that I love. I never realized that the simple piece of advice applies to myself as well.

And then, there's this thing about a Nike ad. It's a pretty stupid ad, frankly. It's the one with all the sports stars falling down and getting injured, and then they get up again and whistle to the singing in the background; 'Always look on the bright side of life'. I've forgotten that for the past few days. I was so busy feeling miserable and sorry for myself that I forgot about the nice things in my life - all the little things that keep me going even through the worst nightmares.

Those are the little realizations that I just came to in the past few minutes. And to think that they helped me feel so much better about everything.

Last night, I watched this movie called 'Life or Something Like It' that my dad rented on DVD. It really touches me. It really brings out the points about life. It tells me that I live my life to enjoy it, not to torture myself or to look good in front of others. Being myself is most important. What's more, it made me think. (And that's saying something.)

It's like, I keep worrying about what lies ahead. I'm worried that I wouldn't have friends. I'm worried that I wouldn't have time to have fun. I'm worried for my loved ones. I'm worried about a gazillion other things, if that's possible. Then I start to think that there's really not much point in worrying.

It's like this, really. My view on life comes in between two very different views. One is the common, nasty one; that we are all completely controlled by fate. No matter what we do, no matter what we say, we'll end up in the trap that fate had set for us. The other is the Catholic view on life. (I'm a Catholic...I guess that's revealed now. But you won't hold that against me, will you?) The Catholic one says that everyone has the power to choose. We choose our own paths, and end up in the consequences that lead from them.

My version on that little logic is this. Yes, it's true, sometimes our lives are, indeed decided by fate. Sometimes, our path is fixed. We can only go one way. But most of the time, we can choose. One choice leads this way, the other leads the other way. We may not always know what lies ahead of us, but we are risking it. That's why we are living. Life is full of risks.

It's like going to school. I know I have to go to school. Fate has decided it. But I choose my own mode of transport. I can go by car, by bus, by taxi, by train, or just walk. Some of these choices may lead to the same place anyway. But, of course, if I choose to walk, I'll be slower and possibly be late for school. That proves that a different choice will lead to a different consequence, because even though I'll end up in school anyway, I'll probably be getting a scolding from the discipline mistress instead of drifting off to sleep in class.

Wow, I'm suddenly such a wise, philosophical freak. I think I'll sing about it. I'M A PHILOSOPHICAL FREAK, WUOH WUOH WUOH...! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT COS I'M A GEEK, WUOH WUOH WUOH...!!

OK, so that's stupid. Though true. I myself can't believe how incredibly freaky and geeky I am. -.-;

All right...enough of all that philosophy stuff.

I JUST SAW THE TWO TOWERS WITH MASTY.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS ABSOLUTELY ROCKZZZZ!!!!! Gimli was SO funny...!! And Legolas was handsome as usual, of course. (heheh...so what if I'm not crazy about him. He's still cute.) Frodo was acting freaky as always, maybe even more under the power of the ring, but Sam was as cool as...a cool thing. (I dunno what.) But Shadowfax absolutely ROCKZZZ!!! He's so dreamy. :3 I've always liked horses, but now I LOVE horses. Shadowfax is so cool! But the best is Gollum. He's so funny, and cute too. A weird, mixed-up character with a split personality, but rather cute, I have to say. He resembles my brother a bit, come to think of it.

Anyway, the movie just rocks like HELL. It's really really beautiful. Sadistic. Violent. Exciting. I swear I was jumping in my seat practically throughout the whole movie. (But especially at the battle.) During the battle, I kept shouting encouragements. (As predicted.) It's either 'Go, Lego!' (to Legolas, heheh) or 'Go get 'em', or 'Go trees!' (Treebeard ROCKS!) or, sometimes, when I was just feeling plainly insane, simply, 'WUOOHHHHH!!!'.

(I'm rather surprised that nobody else in the cinema turned around and gave me weird looks. Maybe because they were all feeling the same way. ^_^ I think I embarrassed Masty, though. I hope she doesn't feel bad about having an embarrassing friend... I hope she'll dare to show up in public with me again. You're not mad, are you, Masty? ^_^;)

I give it the rating of SIX STARS - OUT OF FIVE. Now I hope you know how good the movie really is. So if you haven't watched it yet, MAKE SURE YOU DO. If you don't, then you've just placed yourself in the top ten of my Victim List. MWAHAHAHAHA.

I CAN'T WAIT till it comes out on DVD. I'm going to force my dad to go buy it, and then I'll watch it at least a hundred more times, or until the third movie comes out. (Whichever comes first.)

WHEEE!!! LORD OF THE RINGS...ROCCCKKKKKKZZZZZ!!!!!!!!

2002-12-30, 5:48 p.m..
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