fell sick again. gaaaahh. thankfully am better now. this felt like the worst in a long time though. last night as i was trying to sleep away my fever my head literally split into something like 10 different parts, all arguing against one another. i remember just PRAYING to get some sleep and having a peaceful feverish dream or something. but my head did not let me do that and just kept going back to its debates... it had something to do with women empowerment or something, but it didnt make any sense, but every time i drifted off to sleep it was what went on in my head. an ongoing ruckus.

the headache went away when the fever (thankfully) finally went away. yes, your head can REALLY mess with you after all. and i could finally take a proper shower and wash my hair and i felt clean and awake for the first time in 2 days. :/ i feel... new? haha.

which is good because i don't like myself lately. this new phase, of competitions, and applying for internships... it can really get to you. coupled with the prospect of the big 2-1 LOOMING in front of me like a dark cloud i feel even more the immense pressure of achieving something for myself. instead of being supportive of my friends my first thought is of me, me, me... how do i not get myself wrapped up in these things? how do i be content?

2010-03-12, 5:42 p.m..
before } after