} i choose joy

i was googling loafers (haha) in my desperate search for a good pair (haaha) and instead i came across something of a different kind of nice.

becauseitreallyispersonal.wordpress.com

(quoted from the most recent entry)

You know, they say happiness is a decision. So is any other mood. Well, I�ve got some powerful medically based arguments against that. Happiness is not a decision. Joy is. Happiness is a surface emotion, a temporary event based on your enviroment. Happy in the hospital? No. Happy in the herb garden? Yes. Happy to be home? yes. Happy that the washing machine is peeing all over the floor? No, no and no. Hell no.

joy, on the other hand, is something else entirely. It is, for me, something I live with all the time. Hospital, peeing machines, festering garbage cannot take my joy away. It�s not based in the here and now, the way happiness is. Joy is a choice I made many years ago, when I realized how short and silly real life is. Seriously, we�re looking at a realistic life span of 100 years. I�m almost 1/2 way through that now. If I let my peace of mind, my *joy*, be based on what happens around me day to day,I�d be one of these dried up miserable people with a down turned mouth and an inability to laugh. I like laughing. I like finding humor in ridiculous situations, whether it�s the ghastly noises #4 made in the hospital (once I knew why he was making them, and that he�d get better) or the poofs of stuffing littering the floor once Rosie figured out how to gut a toy. Seriously, it�s funny if you can look at it all objectively, through the lens of God-given joy.

on a related note, i really need to add links to this page. but i have no space. i think i'll have to change the layout first.....

(coincidentally i have the same problem with my table... too many things, but i know i have the space to put them all, if i just reorganised everything) (but im too lazy)

today was the 4th lesson at painting class... i realise i havent talked about the class at all! im in a class of about ten people, unfortunately its very different from a real class, people dont really talk to each other.. (unless they're friends to begin with). but i dont really mind, i enjoy just painting on its own.. :) its a weird relationship that i have with painting.. when im in that room, by the second hour im all ARRRRH I GIVE UP I SUCK AT THIS IM GLAD I DIDNT TAKE ART - and within 2 hours after the class (i.e. now) i only feel like painting again. :|

oh and i finished my first painting today and cant wait to start the next one!!

2009-07-22, 11:54 p.m..
before } after