} hum

yesterday i was in Emo mode, because i finally decided to sit myself down and start writing my personal statement, and my mind keeps going 'what am i doing why am i doing this why do i have to do this' all over again, but im glad i went to church so i found some comfort in there. at one point i just felt so lost i just wanted to sit there quietly and close my eyes and close myself to everything else, and just think of nothing except the lifehouse song

i've got nothing left to say

but in the end i stopped emo-ing lah. haha. which is good.

i saw mr toh, again, but he was giving the communion, again, so i couldnt say hi or anything. ah well. the feeling of familiarity is enough.

this morning i finally really set down to work on my personal statement, though, and that made me feel better, although I had to keep rewriting just the first paragraph to make sure that what i was writing is completely honest. in the end, whether i get accepted or not, i dont want to be remembered by achievements, i want to be remembered as a person. so i'll keep writing and rewriting it until its right, doesnt matter if it takes all night. (that rhymed, ha ha.) i still have the coffee that ms chen gave out during gp class! haha.

went to the national library for a while, to read a bit about the oxford colleges since i had no idea which one to pick... in the end i got tempted by all the uni-related books and picked out a whole stack. ha ha. i got the info that i needed though, so i made my choice, although it probably doesnt make much of a difference, really. after reading (more) about oxford i think i'll just be ecstatic to get into the school, no matter which college. i swear, if i get even a conditional offer for oxford, i will run down the street screaming I GOT IN! I GOT IN! ... seriously.

anyway, i should probably stop blogging.. i realise that lately i only really blog when im trying to put something off. *shifty eyes*

2007-08-26, 10:01 p.m..
before } after