} something more

I don't think I've felt so sad on the eve of a birthday before.

I mean, I'm usually sad on the eve of a birthday. Because I hate becoming older, and I'm starting to be pretty convinced that I may not be fated to have certain experiences in life. And that is just a sad thought, you know, when coupled with the idea of becoming older.

But this year feels extra sad, because:

- First of all, we just had a farewell for Jean's sabbatical last night, and I'm feeling all sad and nostalgic about events that just took place last night, if that is even possible. Yesterday was just good and today so shitty that I feel nostalgic.

- I have a ton of shit to do but I am in no mood to work on them, see the above reason.

- I also won't be able to look forward to next week either - at least not until mid or late next week.

I really need better resilience / tolerance for work.

There are some small mercies, though.

For one -- next Wednesday is another game night!

For another -- I booked a painting session next Friday and I have not done that in a long time. I've not totally decided what I'm going to paint yet though I have some ideas. So I'm pretty excited about that.

Well, here's to the small mercies to keep us going.

Until I find, we all find, something more.

Destiny is not enough. Something more is required.

2018-05-10, 2:29 p.m..
before } after