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Just had my ears unblocked yesterday and it is a great feeling. Although it is also strange at the same time, because everything sounds much louder than normal.

I went to my usual doctor, who used to really like making fun of me, especially because I have always been a quiet kid. I used to really dislike it. Now he is just another friendly face - ever since around jc days, I have realised that just going to his clinic alone is enough to make me feel better. So I always go there.

The last sage advice he gave me was not to be stressed, and ENJOY my work.

I think I have some internal resistance to get over, in order to do that. No matter what I seem to always have this chip on my shoulder, and I can't get over the feeling that something better has been taken away from me. At the same time I don't even feel like I deserve something better. It's this whole host of crazy feelings whatever, it drives me nuts.

Somehow I have to get over this place of insecurity and concentrate, and recognise that its not about me.

And trust that through everything I can get better.

2014-04-06, 11:06 a.m..
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