} ug

it has been a depressing week...despite the slight moments of happiness/hilarity. i dont know if i am maybe just tired, but i know that i am feeling unmotivated, just not quite into what i am doing. i think in the past despite the late hours and the weekends i was sustained by the fact that i enjoyed (..more or less) what i was doing, so that it wasn't quite a chore, and the only real issue was whether i had enough energy to keep going. for a while now it has been more difficult because i seem to have lost that interest and motivation. and thinking about it, i dont think i can really blame it on the files that i am getting, because i am getting more interesting work than before i went on the break .. i think the problem really is with me. and i dont quite know how to fix it, dont know how to get my motivation back. i thought it would come back naturally after i've gotten a break, and i think it did, for a while.. but now i am back to being down and unmotivated, not looking forward to going to work, etc.

and i think not being able to control my facial expression and looking so miserable only makes things worse. T__T

need to somehow fix this state of misery. :/ dont know if talking to anyone will help, because now i dont feel like i can pinpoint a cause, but just feel like i am inherently unhappy. T_T argggg

feel like i just want to sit somewhere and be miserable for a while.

...but i cant because i have to go to work.

T____T

2013-07-26, 6:34 a.m..
before } after