} stop in time

And so, after some weeks of craziness (out of my own doing I think, more than what was thrown at me) I slowly came to a plateau, an open space. Suddenly there is nothing and I am slightly unsettled by it. It reawakened old insecurities, thoughts that were never gone but were merely sleeping.

But now then, more than ever, is a time for discipline. the insecurities are feelings that need to be slowly conquered, not temporarily extinguished only to be reignited another day. i need to somehow prove to myself that i can be Good at this.

i need to somehow be organised, and efficient, and diligent ... all of that require discipline that i don't even know if i have. but i'm being given time and opportunity to get my act together here, and i really cannot, must not waste this chance.

2013-05-27, 12:27 a.m..
before } after