} the woman

yesterday there was an interesting woman on the bus... the first impression i got was a negative one, because both her hair and make-up were extremely overly done. in fact, if she wasn't so obviously a woman, i would have thought that she was a tranny. :| she checks her make-up in the reflection of her phone from time to time, looking at nobody else, just looking ahead. i wondered if she was entirely oblivious that she looked completely out of place in a normal bus along a normal road in a city that was not celebrating Mardi Gras/the Rio Festival/a massive costume party, at 5 in the afternoon. or just totally uncaring.

but then another woman got on the bus and she had run out of ez-link money AND small change. so she starts holding out a $10 note to the folks sitting in front and asking for change. this Mardi Gras woman, completely unflappable and without hesitation, just says "i don't have change but i'll give you $2, okay?" ...in a way that would normally have sounded patronising, except that it sounds like she talks that way all the time. she was thanked profusely but she just kind of nodded and smiled and crossed her legs and looked ahead again, not giving the other woman a second look. i don't think she was looking for thanks, i don't think she was even out to do a good deed - it seems like she just does what she does.

the overall impression that i now got was just a person who was totally comfortable and easy in her own self.. not completely a saint but not unkind either. i dont think she suffers from any insecurity issues like the rest of us. (like, i think sometimes i go out of my way to do something "good" only because i feel pressured to do the 'right' thing, or i feel pressured to please someone, rather than just being a natural act...) i have to admit, i have mad respect for people like this.

i am still (re)learning how to grow quietly in my own skin.

2012-11-27, 12:21 p.m..
before } after