} nerves again

after 5 of these practice rounds you'd think that i would be used to it... but i think i never do. the same procrastination, the same last minute work, the same need for the feeling of being prepared ENOUGH (even if not 100% prepared). the same need for the piece of paper in front of me to reassure myself that i am NOT going to garble in front of these faces that i dont know. i THINK i know the kind of feeling that i want right before speaking. it is a kind of nervous calm. a focused, nervous calm. (strangely, it's not a contradictory state of mind.) i dont know if i will get to have that. although of course the ideal would be to be able to have that right before every round.

so for now my only solution is to aim to be prepared... to be prepared enough.

2012-03-08, 6:53 a.m..
before } after


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