i do find this video incredibly inspiring. she is right when she said that the audience can feel when they know that the speaker is standing up there out of his/her comfort zone, the audience appreciates that s/he is not up there for the pleasure of hearing the sound of his/her own voice.

and in many ways she is right. i can't accurately say that i have grown up thinking that it is wrong to be so quiet and reserved. when i was VERY young i was shy at times but i was also very loud and domineering a lot of the time... i ended up thinking that being so over the top was childish, so i strived to be a nicer and gentler person. that, together with the awkwardness that came with puberty, made my introvertedness come out more and more. until i decided that being so reserved was also not quite right (the negative connotations that seem to come with being introverted also do not help), so - as accurately described by the speaker - i kept putting myself in situations that i find uncomfortable and not really very fun, just to try to conform. i mean, this is at least 10% of the reason why i chose to go to law school.

the thing is, i like the person that i am now much better than the person that i was before i made myself take those steps out of my comfort zone.. it's true, i'm not the most secure person in the world, but i am a lot more comfortable with myself now, i am beginning to learn about myself.

and it's true that i need my alone time, i need my personal space. but if i had always let myself just recede into my shell i would never have grown up, not even a little bit. i think it's important to expand my comfort zone (since it's not a very large zone to begin with) and i think i will try to continue to push myself (although it is harder nowadays).. until i get too old and tired to do this to myself, i suppose.

at least i'm not in a profession that requires groupwork ALL the time. teehee

2012-03-06, 2:15 p.m..
before } after