} WHAT AM I DOING

i think i am doubting my own judgment more and more... probably not a good sign if i constantly ask myself "what have i done", "am i really doing this", etc. and, so many distractions. ack. not a good way to start the year at all. also what is with all the 4:44 i keep seeing!! on the 4th of the month too. no, i dont need a bunch of numbers to tell me i am not in a good place.

edit: strange how food can comfort me quite easily. not in a bingeing way (that usually makes me feel worse in the end physically and otherwise) but a spot of lunch on a day which had looked so terrible really helped in inconceivable ways.

still obsessed with Sherlock and now considering keeping away from the other 2 upcoming episodes until the memo is done and safely submitted on the 19th. :| these bouts of obsession are not good for writing.

two pieces of good news today:
- Ros sent my mum an sms about my christmas card, so now i know she is still alive
- as a result, now my mum knows that i intend to visit london in june, and she was not AT ALL appalled. :) hooray for overestimating parents' reactions!!

(then again, i guess she hasn't realised that i intend to visit london alone) (will cross that bridge when it comes)

but having a lot of trouble with the memo now, although i feel like going to sleep. T_T throat is parched and unpleasant.



2012-01-04, 4:44 a.m..
before } after


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