} i've spent way too long writing this

It's a bit early but I've already written out my New Year's resolutions. :-) nothing really far out of the norm, but I think they sum up pretty well what I'd like to "work on", for now.

I think every year I try to 'fix' parts of myself, that's why sometimes (i think) i am exceptionally nicer and more generous to people, while other times i'm more nasty because I'm letting myself just be myself more. :P This year has been more of a Nasty year, but I think I'm slowly figuring out the balance. it's all a matter of being firm at the right time, and really pushing myself to be more generous towards friends and family, who also have to put up with MY hissy fits after all. I tend to be nervous around people who I'm not close to so I end up blabbering or trying too hard to be Nice but I think I have to figure out how to be myself more even around strangers, and the new part-time job that I'm doing is helping me a little. :-)

the new job is also an enjoyable one because i haven't met as many stupid and irritating people as in previous jobs. :'D it's a sad thing, but I suspect its because people tend to look down more on waitresses and F&B service people in general. in fact it takes a great deal of quick thinking and people skills to be in the service industry, something that no one can really appreciate unless they've been in the position.. so this cashier job is much easier in a way, and doesn't challenge me as much, though it is helpful since it forces me to talk to a lot of different people.

haven't seen much of friends this holiday, but i'm strangely OK with that. haven't got much money to go out anyway, and i should really be doing Vis work more (but the topic is extremely dry and boring T_T). and everyone is busy with their own things, i guess i am reaching that stage in life when it starts to get harder to have friends i can just call out for a drink. but that's understandable - everyone is building their own lives, and i think i'm OK because i'm finally ready to focus on my own, too. life is about being able to adapt (EVOLUTION and all that) and i will take things as they come.

for today i have to make the decision whether to take Thai 2 or another law module for my last module next semester. and do some (read: a LOT) Vis work. and i should probably check my exam results too, although i'm a bit scared for the first time in uni. because for the first time, i started to care. sigh.

2011-12-20, 1:51 a.m..
before } after