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} the orderly and methodical mind... ...is something i am seriously lacking. this haphazard way of dealing with things, failing to plan and then leaving everything to the last second, trusting that in the end i will somehow pull through or everything will just fall into place. i do manage, usually - so far. but this luck was bound to run out eventually. maybe this time was the time. i am angry and disappointed with myself of course. the sinking feeling... i dont know when it will go away. i think i give myself a lot of allowance to be okay with getting by... but then when something (anything) goes wrong i need to beat myself up over it until i feel like i've redeemed myself. IF i get a chance to redeem myself. but this one is a one-off so i need to find a way to let it go.. hopefully it will be a good lesson. i have gotten too complacent.. i mean, preparing a whole semester's work for an exam in two days, when other people start a month in advance? who am i kidding?? at least only i have to pay the price this time around, but i have got to grow up and be more responsible.
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we1rd0. getting old. deviantart, livejournal, the wunders, LOOK, A BIRD!, wise words. contact ghetto. dumping ground for angst/etc since 2002. newest & old stuff. diaryland. elsewhere. links here. heal the world. make poverty history. ONE. your say. |
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| "The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion." Prince Philip at the opening of City Hall, 2002. | ||||