} rainy night and thoughts

sipping warm tea on a rainy night. finally i get to enjoy rainy weather while indoors ... and it's a cool kind of rain too, not too humid at all. the sounds that come with rain are very peaceful; the soft patter of rain, frogs, crickets, etc..... GORGEOUS.

I have been back in Singapore for exactly 3 weeks now and it has been a mix of highs and lows. it felt like one of those reality tv shows, where contestants live away from home and go through challenges to pursue their dream of becoming a chef or a fashion designer or whatever, and i had just been cut out. and so suddenly i was shipped back home, and i had no clue what i was going to do. i knew i had to rebuild my life but for a few days i think it's fair to say that i could barely function, much less move on (i'm still in the midst of unpacking...but i'm getting there).

but i'm slowly picking up the pieces. singapore doesn't seem as hateful anymore, i think i'm making my peace with it. around last week, i think i was very afraid that i was losing all the new happiness and optimism that came with being in London. part of that probably did come with being in the city itself. but i AM finding it easier to be happy now, that's what i've discovered. i'm happier when i've been doing things, all the while dreaming of days of doing nothing..

well, The Dream is not over yet, that is for sure. it seems like everyone is telling me that there will definitely be more opportunities for Europe in the future. so the idea of being stuck might have been something i've impressed upon myself... but for now, i'm remembering how it felt to think that everything is limitless.

i've been considering buying a second-hand camera from Salvation Army, so i've been taking down the camera model numbers and researching them online...it's quite interesting, reading up on cameras. :D there's an SLR available for sale, the rest are point-and-shoots. i've been wondering if i should invest in an SLR (considering that it's second-hand and affordable) but i decided that a film SLR wouldn't be too advisable for a noob like me, since i would need a lot of practice and playing around, and film is EXPENSIVE.

i want desperately to start drawing again!

2011-06-08, 3:03 p.m..
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