} "i just want you to know who i am"

it has been awesome practising for the piano exam and i think im gona miss it... i love the days when i have no classes or only classes in the afternoon. its always slow to start off in the morning, but around 11 i somehow make it from the sofa to the piano and attempt to be better at scales. and then i attempt to make the pieces i picked sound like they're supposed to instead of slow, broken up versions of themselves. i feel like such an artist sitting at the piano hour after hour like that, mannnn. ahaha. maybe that's the only reason why this whole experience is so addictive. self-indulgence? ah, well..

or maybe because often nowadays i dont feel like myself, i dont know who i am and i dont know how to be myself. when im around people im awkward and i dont know who to be. but when im expressing myself through something else it's easy, there's nothing to think about and it all comes naturally. c: even if it's in broken notes!

im too lonely and alienating nowadays. i need to be happy again. x)

2010-09-07, 9:44 p.m..
before } after