} oh, no

have just finished reading the latest in the Spellman series by Lisa Lutz. for a lighthearted, kinda brainless book it did manage to make me pause and think. im not very good at telling stories or promoting things, but... if you feel like reading something light but not insipid or too romance-y i think this is a good series! ok if you dont like smart ass jokes you might hate it. i used to think the protagonist's screwed-up-ness was a bit cliched too, but after a while she kind of grew on me.

its Friday already which means i only have 3 days of internship left. to be truthful i wish it could be longer, i feel like i've been doing too little? in a kind of weird, masochistic way i think i'd prefer being swamped with work than not having anything to do. both my mentors (yes, a change of mentor didnt help either) pretty much left me alone to uh figure out ways to spend my time, but you know... you make your own luck. (ROY KEANE said that. i've been trying to remember his name. been having a lot of trouble remembering names recently, i think because i was suddenly introduced to too many new people at one shot. space in brain is limited.)

i cant help but think that i screwed up a little somewhat, in my perspective at least. now i think i should make up for it and hopefully come monday morning it wont be too late to at least feel like i've done one good piece of work in these 2 weeks.

btw i've come to realise one very disturbing thing about myself. i can't do any work past 12 noon. at 12 i start to slow down, thinking about lunch. (lunch hour is at 1pm.) during lunch i somehow delude myself that i'll go back refreshed but uh, no. i just consume massive amounts of coffee (but i AM cutting down on pantry visits) and hardly do anything. then around 5pm (knock-off time is at 6) i stop deluding myself and start preparing to take work home.

i dont do this all the time of course, since i dont get much work in the first place, but i've noticed that this is what i've done on the days that i do get work. and THEN i dont really do a lot of work at home, either... mostly during those few hours in the morning on the day of the deadline.

what the hell. what am i going to do with myself?? how do i learn to be productive beyond 3 hours a day??? O_O i will have to somehow resolve this problem in the last 3 days or hopefully if i get another internship..!!

2010-07-16, 11:32 p.m..
before } after