} angst angst angst

dear diary, I am living a double life. on one hand i've been working at Jones, a restaurant cum atas grocery store which seems to be an entire world all on its own on dempsey hill. the place and its staff is so wrought with drama that i think it merits a reality TV show. then again, i guess all F&B workplaces do.

the little secrets and gossip bits that were thrashed out, shouted and whispered into the river (practically) yesterday night now seem so surreal. if i had been more sleepy i might have had trouble differentiating the night from just another dream. its like a fantasy, really. maybe because for me these things dont matter, it's only a stop-over after all.

on the other hand, my internship at WongP is so 'real', like a concrete wall. a lot of talk about school, future plans, mutual friends, work. everything is so Real that it's daunting, i find difficulty facing it, facing the fact that this is what i would have to face for years and years and years to come.

i think im too much of an observer, i havent been really able to plunge myself into things. now i find myself asking which world i would like to plunge my whole life into. the Real World, or a world all on its own? or will i stay a lonely observer?

------

finals in approximately 5 hours! that is also roughly the same amount of time i would have to do my last bit of extra research for work. (not to mention i need to bathe and change into an orange shirt) i cant believe my own utter failure to bring work home. or rather, to work from home. bringing it home is ok (that only requires some moderate amount of procrastination) but getting down to it during the weekend is just painful. tomorrow morning i face the unimaginable prospect of having nothing to show to my Partner for my first simple research assignment. balls.

2010-07-11, 8:48 p.m..
before } after