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} why am i blogging when i have to be in school half an hour from now ironically the small victory doesn't make me happy, it makes me uncomfortable. i just cannot feel proud of myself for this, to the point of being irritating. i have to PRETEND so that i stop being so irritating. i just dont see what the big deal is. it's not that it's an easy thing to do. is this, then, the opposite moment of realisation where i go, "no, this is wrong. this is not what i want to do." could i at least deal with it, temporarily? for the sake of being practical? i think in the end, yes. i think that i still don't regret my decisions at all. i still know where i am going with this, kind of, though i guess it's a little hazy and i am taking a very roundabout route. the trouble will be in the explanations. finding people to share these dreams with because, as i've recently discovered, most people will just settle for the fake smiles. (obviously they have not been following ANTM and tyra banks' lesson on SMEYESSSS. oh tyra. will you ever cease cracking me up.)
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we1rd0. getting old. deviantart, livejournal, the wunders, LOOK, A BIRD!, wise words. contact ghetto. dumping ground for angst/etc since 2002. newest & old stuff. diaryland. elsewhere. links here. heal the world. make poverty history. ONE. your say. |
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| "The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion." Prince Philip at the opening of City Hall, 2002. | ||||