} today the air is cold outside.

this week is the last week of school, but lessons for all the modules have ended except for one more contract tutorial tomorrow. and my mum has late classes from mon to thurs this week so i've been staying home. my primary worry is thinking of what to eat, although admittedly so far its been a breeze. i had thoughts of digging through recipe books and trying something exciting but in reality its much more tempting, and less time consuming, to just stick to easy things.

anyway, a few mins ago, my brother left for his piano class. i know not because he told me, but because i heard the front door and then i opened the door and asked him where he was going, what time he wld be back etcetc before he went to the lift. and i went to my room and felt decidedly bored and lonely. i had an epiphany (aside from the realisation of how dysfunctional my family's level of communication is): this is how it would be like if i were a stay-home mum.

man, what a horrible thought. so i've decided that no, i cant be a bum. maybe an impoverished bum, because that might be more exciting. but not a self-sufficient bum. because the fact is that no matter how i may dream of traveling or doing fun slacky things as a self-sufficient bum the fact is that a)i wont have anyone to do them with and b)i'll just end up at home watching project runway and envying everyone else who's having such interesting lives.

so no, i cant be a bum, and i cant be a freelance anything unless i know i will secure some jobs (because if not il just end up a bum, anyway).

so now i have to think of a new ambition.
while doing my contract tutorial.

wish me luck!

btw - i went to the lomo exhibition last saturday. got a few snaps but too lazy to upload them now and im supposed to be doing my tutorial anyway... tragically, i think im already bored of keeping up with that weekly thing i proposed for myself. or at least posting about it. i never seem to finish anything i start. :( this is another reason why i must not ever be a freelance anything. i need a boss to supervise and threaten to fire me whenever work gets boring...

2008-11-11, 4:24 p.m..
before } after