} why only 24 hours

i am now wearing a t-shirt which i havent worn since i brought it to indon, and it smells vaguely like the fabric softener that the mba uses there, and its very homey.

im a sucker for comfort. :(

my life currently is split into two halves - one that is being pulled along by the currents of law school: lectures, classes, readings, cases, questions, ccas, new groups that i am somewhat semi-acquainted with, though none too close... the other half is still sitting snugly in the comfort of old friends, although some of those old friends are now leaving and so this half of me is just drifting now, just hanging on, emo-ing, waiting for the moment to say goodbye.

i want to let my whole self sit and stone and emo, but i cant. if i tell anyone about it, no one is going to tell me, "its ok. take your time. you have a week and then you can slowly get back into the flow of things again. :)" ...of course not. instead im supposed to drag my emo half up, let it join the other half in the currents of it all and laugh and make new friends and get into discussions and study for tests and do my tutorials. something im finding really hard to do.

a lot of people deal with things like this just fine, i know. a lot of people dont need to be one or the other. they can handle both struggles at the same time... but i cant. i can only function properly when im focusing on one thing at a time..

and that sucks, cos i cant stop myself from emo-ing, and i cant do work when im emo-ing.

i dont want to be one or the other. i dont want to be rushed into things. neither do i want to be stagnantly drifting along. i want to be the one behind the wheel, normal speed, yknow. catch up with my work. read new books. learn a song on piano. watch new tv shows. enjoy life. be happy.

for now, everything is too much. i just need more time.

2008-09-04, 7:31 p.m..
before } after