} aaahhhhh

so, sometime ago i requested to defer my entry to UCL by a year. and i thought i would have until next year to reply/accept that offer. WRONG. the deadline was the same as the other offers i had, and i missed it! thankfully UCAS sent a letter to inform me, and i may be able to accept it still if i call their customer service line.

BUT

its not as if i would be able to go for sure. i still dont have the finances to go, and i can try applying for scholarships again but the likely thing is that i wouldnt be successful (again), not to mention the hell of applying for scholarships was something i was not keen on repeating. so if i accept that offer now without knowing if i could go, it would be kinda taking away a place from next year's applicants? which i feel quite bad about.

i duno why i find it so difficult to let go of this, i guess because i came so close and would have reached it if only i had 200k in my bank account

but i should do this closure thing properly, mourn my failure etc etc. so here's a start; good points about going to NUS!

- closer to Indon, so i can still go back during holidays
- closer to family and friends (with the exception of those going overseas)
- i can walk to campus (save $$)
- i dont have to pay for residence, meal plans etc
- i can save my parents' money for future, perhaps more important purposes//i dont have to serve a crazy 6-year scholarship bond

ok thats all i can come up with. for now. of course the good points of going overseas can easily balance out these points, but i think the next step of closure is not thinking about those.

yes.

sorry about this boring/depressing post.

2008-07-29, 9:05 a.m..
before } after


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