} may 11th 2008

HAPPY PENTECOST (for Christians) AND MOTHER'S DAY (for mothers)!!!!!!

you can celebrate by:

- going to mass
- giving your mum a mushy gift/card

HOW UNIMAGINABLY FUN! YAY! as for me, i celebrated with a sunday brunch, cake, and a date with tonights SUPER EXCITING epl action!! but thats because i also happened to turn 19 today! i know, what a coincidence!!

it is a nice feeling though, that a lot of other people around the world are probably celebrating along with me (albeit for different reasons). how distant yet interconnected we all are! its amazing.

last year i thought about how much i've changed this far. but this year, the other day i was looking at myself, and i realised how much i HAVEN'T really changed. still kind of flabby in places, still stubborn, still prone to tantrums/moodswings, still as clumsy as ever, i even still kind of look the same eh. (although im the only one who thinks so)

and its a bit disconcerting that my birthday is at such an uncertain time this year. suddenly being 19 doesn't change a thing, really - im still thinking about the same things as i was yesterday. and i dont know whether or what im looking forward to, or whether i should be excited or scared. its just...uncertain. and im so fearful and hopeful all at the same time. the only certain thing is change. or so they say.

i really dont know where things will go from here. whether i should wait for something to happen, or make a move myself. like this dilemma i had while i was at ntu the other day. i could take bus 179 OR 199 to go back to the mrt, but they stop at different bus stops. so i waited at the 199 stop first, but it was taking a really long time to come. AND i saw TWO 179 buses pass from the 179 stop. and i didnt know whether to go to the 179 stop or keep waiting. i decided to move. and lo and behold, as i was reaching the 179 stop the 199 bus came and passed by me just like that. and the next 179 bus ended up taking a long time to come. its frustrating.

but what to do? its all a gamble. shit happens. all i can do is try my best to do what's right, i suppose. though that is much easier said than done. and i could go on and on but oh well.

saw the play England on friday (THANK YOU BRUDDERS). i couldnt decide whether i like it or not. its not exactly a simple performance where you could decide if you liked it or not. like some things, you can say they were 'nice'. this was not 'nice'. but something about it just stays with me. the tension, the passion that was conveyed with the least body movement. so yes, i think i liked it a lot.

bus rides have been very interesting lately, with all the people i've seen. there was the very devoted Christian guy who tried to convince me to a divine healing session (a bit creepy, but i admire his simple faith), the deaf couple who 'talked' in sign language, the woman singing along to weird music from her own boombox.. and then, this guy who might be me, in another life. he was following the show on TV Mobile so intensely, eyebrows creased and mouth hanging open and all. which i do too, subconsciously or not, whether its a really intriguing play or a really vapid show like My Sassy Neighbour (sorry mediacorp, but its really bad). haha! every once in a while i looked at him during the ride, and seeing my own expression reflected on someone else's face was so funny i had to keep from laughing out loud.

ok, cant think of a good way to end this cos its gotten too random. so i'll just stop here. thanks for all the reminders abt how old im getting (haha), have a million-dollar week ahead. =)

2008-05-11, 4:48 p.m..
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