} company dinner

tonight would be the 2nd company/office dinner since i started working here. darkly enough, it seems that people here only go out for dinner together when someone is leaving.. tomorrow is Maria's last day.

as usual, i never know what's happening so i only just found out about it... i feel pretty stupid when I imagine that everyone could have been talking about it the whole day, just that i never understood anything. ah, well... im (thankfully) not going to join in the 'celebrations' this time, since i have long made a date with my sofa for tonight. thankful because the last time i went it was an awkward affair, all talk and jokes in mandarin as usual, and then once in a while someone would (insincerely) remind everyone to speak english, and then there would be a few jokes thrown at my uncomprehending chinese colleague, and then it all goes back to mandarin again.

its ok. i've acknowledged that i cannot win. i did enjoy the free food, and it was expensive food too, so i reckon tonight i'd be missing out on something pretty good. and Maria has been my lunch buddy, so its kind of sad, but... i dont go back on my word (even if its a silent one, to a sofa), and my maid was so happy at the prospect of being able to cook for more than just herself after such a long time. and anita might be coming, woo! =)

i dont mind that they conveniently forgot to tell me about the dinner earlier. i wouldnt be that excited to go, anyway. but what disturbed me was what my boss said after i told them i cant make it...:

"its ok, there will be another one in 2 weeks' time anyway."

this referring to the fact that another colleague would be leaving soon as well. actually, after that there would be another one too. this means that in my time here, if i stay until end of may, a total of 5 people would have left the office. 5 people in 3 months. goodness. is this normal among full-time staff??

and maybe my boss thought his remark didnt mean anything, but it seems to me to reflect a lot about how he felt about his subordinates. his colleagues. as though they are totally dispensable? i guess thats the reality in the corporate setting. but in a small office like this, less than 15 people, you'd think he would have a less nonchalant attitude about people leaving his office. is he so self-important to think that he doesnt need to care for the people here? one day his attitude gona bite him back in his big fat ass, i assure you.

i guess you could say that he's the boss. bosses are like that. but i, and along with many others im sure, would prefer to see a boss who isn't self-important, who is capable of shelving their big ass ego and show some humility every once in a while. somehow i think that will win more respect and loyalty than any authoritative ego ever will.

5 people in 3 months! and when i think about all the other issues this company's been having, i think its really going to the dogs.
..and i feel sorry for the dogs.

2008-04-24, 3:02 p.m..
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