} about swallowing pride, the office, and fear of perfection

so yesterday, after i talked to my boss about it, he decided that i can help with the client artwork. he told the other designers that i was there to help them. yesterday i managed to find some pictures to use for an advertisement, because the idiot client decided not to provide any photos for us. and this is my CHINESE colleague, the one i cant talk to without some form of sign language. so it felt like a huge accomplishment.

today i have nothing. :( the other designers dont need my help, though i have offered. and im not sure if they'll give me any work, it might be too much trouble to communicate to me, they might find it easier to do it all themselves.

man. i should have seen this coming. if i tell my boss about this situation im in he might go 'well you asked for it.' i really hate my pride sometimes.

today was maria's birthday, so we had a SECRET skype convo and i contributed 5 bucks for celebratory pastries and cake. its kind of fake, this whole thing, but in a nice way. i smartly ate a light lunch in anticipation of the big dessert. and mercifully i got one of the smaller slices of cake, unlike during the last birthday celebration when i had to force down 2 huge slices. i had to endure a stomachache for the rest of the day after that. im not exactly lactose intolerant but dairy products, especially butter and cream, dont sit too well with my digestive system...

its been such a strange experience in this office. i have great and horrible lonely moments all on the same day, sometimes in the same hour. its weird, but its new, and challenging. and as i discover more and more about my co-workers, things get a little better and more interesting. people are always less intimidating once they act a little more human. thats why im so easily intimidated by over-achievers, sportspeople, confident popular seemingly flawless people... you know the type. perfection is scary. even if its only apparent perfection.

ok maybe i should do the right thing, swallow my pride, prepare myself for the 'well you asked for it' look and ask for some work.

2008-04-18, 2:25 p.m..
before } after


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