} monday blues, tuesday...fumes

well, yesterday night shift turned out pretty horrible as expected, but surprisingly i just felt a bit resigned to it. call it monday blues if you will.

when i get days like that sometimes i feel like such a hopeless case and i wonder if i will get any better at this thing called life. :/

tuesday (ie., today) promises a slightly better day. for one thing, my boss was not MIA the entire day (btw, yesterday he did come after all...at 5pm, i saw him downstairs when i was walking out in fact, so it made no difference) so i have gotten a new assignment, although i only just got it, and i think he just pulled it out of his ass. seriously. and now i find out the mock up design im doing is not even for publication here (its for malaysia). .... eh??

and i dont think i've mentioned this yet, but last week i actually found out that im employed as a 'temporary admin assistant'. when i was asked to sign the letter/contract, naturally i brought this up for correction, since i havent done any admin here, not on my boss' orders anyway. and then, he gets this small little smile on his face and he says, quietly, 'actually we don't hire temps for design jobs.' (again) .....eh???

i hate to ruin my boss' rep in my own eyes, cos he always seemed like such a nice and accommodating person. he's definitely nice to his colleagues/subordinates. but i suspect he is also a cunning man, and im beginning to see whats going on here. its a small company. and a small office. probably a small budget, too. their designers are overworked with the client requests. they need designs for other side projects done. so they get a temp worker, student, prob wont suspect anything. promises good job prospects, good experience of dealing with clients, wink wink.

and this is where i've wound up. crappy jobs, hours of wasted time. true, im getting paid for slacking, but guilt and impatience is catching up with me. i'd rather be doing something meaningful, this holiday wasn't supposed to be all about getting money.

so now im facing a dilemma, whether to continue playing along, or to put my foot down and leave. naturally my change-averse side is rallying for the former, and its usually the side that wins.

i would love to have a talk to my boss about this but he never seems to have the time? its so annoying. he may be a nice guy actually, but right now he's just a manipulative jerk in my eyes.

oh and, he has the biggest ego imagineable. he cannot, and will not, ever admit that he's wrong. i think a few weeks ago i blogged about the agony of doing an A4 800ppi mock-up page (180mb file, damnit!). well, it was on my boss's orders that i worked at such a ridiculously high resolution. ok, i agree the quality would be better for printing, but guess what happened today?

he decided the resulting files are too big, asks another designer to flatten it. the original pdf file is 2GB. he asked her to flatten it to 1MB. .......sorry, what??

of course she couldnt do it, the best she could do was about 6MB, and naturally the resolution was dropped like crazy. he looks at the file, examines it (yeah sure) and then says, 'ok.'

just like that.

not a single, smallest acknowledgement that it was completely UNNECESSARY to design the page at 800ppi resolution, not a guilty cough, nothing. nada. zilch. just walked back to his office as cock-sure as ever.

*finger*

sorry. just irritated. anyway, he prob didnt feel sorry cos the higher resolution meant i took a longer time to do the work, which meant he had to pull out jobs out of his ass less.

ok, going to do this latest ass job done and contemplate what i should say to him, or whether i should even talk to him at all.

2008-04-15, 4:27 p.m..
before } after


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