} blah

got back from JB. after one & a half days of non-stop activity, my body automatically slows down and stops. for Lent i decided to abstain from addictive TV (ie., news and other boring programs excluded) and im already suffering after barely 3 days. i guess with such a vague pledge i can always find loopholes, but thats where my conscience is supposed to kick in i guess.

but anyway. now i find myself in a frustrating position. i've tuned into my too-lazy-and-bored-to-do-anything mode, and usually when im like this i start watching TV. i tried turning my attention to the computer, but maybe its because im older or what, but it doesnt seem as attractive anymore. guess what i do when i get on the com now? check my e-mail, apply for a thousand jobs online, get no replies, occasionally watch youtube.

(this is why i really need to get another job.) (referring to prev post)

i cant sleep. i hate sleeping during the day. actually, i pretty much hate sleeping nowadays. i want to DO. SOMETHING. ALL THE TIME! i want my calendar to be filled up with stuff to do. even if its only one small thing per day.

but i always end up like this. slowing down, stopping, reflecting. sometimes i wish i was a more active than passive person. then i wouldnt stone so much. i cant help doing it but i hate it now. by this paragraph im already bored with myself.

and at this point im thinking whether i should even post this at all. usually i dont. you wouldnt guess the number of blog posts i've "killed" in the making.

the OTHER problem with inactivity is that other people around me may be doing something...sometimes doing something involving MY things. gah. i swear, i cant seem to keep my things from being meddled around in this house. seems like i need a humongomous safe box or something. of course im also at fault for leaving everything everywhere.

ok im just going to click 'done!' now

2008-02-08, 5:19 p.m..
before } after