} leaving on an airplane...tomorrow

Doing work on my own for the past one week or so, has given me a lot of time for thinking. i've also had time to browse the ellen website and watch the carjumper commercial. haha. it's quite cool. =D but if i could jump over cars, i would do it differently. first of all, i would do an adidas ad instead of nike. it would go something like this. i would first say, 'i am going to jump over that car.' and i would point to a car, nearby. and then, 'sounds impossible?' and then i jump over it. and then i laugh and say, 'it's nothing.' short and sweet. arent i a brilliant force of creativity or what. hahahaha. (right.)

second of all, i would then go on to become a stuntman, cos i always thought it would be a fun job if 1)i could perform stunts, and 2)i wasnt afraid of heights. and dying.

anyway. i wanted to blog about something. oh yeah. i have had a lot of time to think about a lot of things.

one of them is my trip to china! flying off tomorrow morning at 7, which im grumpy about because i havent had a chance to wake up late this past 2 weeks or smth. haha. i have very mixed feelings about this trip. for example, day before yesterday i got an email from yingri saying that it is SNOWING there, and its so cold that her fingers were stiff. so my initial thought was, 'omg im going to die'. seriously! what if my fingers drop off? or worse still, what if my nose drops off?? i had a really hard time drawing my nose in my self-portrait (for portfolio, im not that vain) and it would be tragically ironic if my nose drops off.

seriously though, i hope i have enough warm clothes. my parents have been helping me by buying me a new longsleeved shirt and a sweater. unfortunately both of them have forgotten that i've been growing, i think, because both clothes are a bit small. oh well. just have to make do.

also have mixed feelings because whenever i start getting excited, i remember that i havent packed, and some of the excitement goes away. like now. shucks. i have to finish writing 2 essays first though, and compile my portfolios, and send them, before i can start packing. unfortunately im obviously procrastinating since im blogging now.

its hard to write about something that is so important to me, though. when i had to write a personal statement for my uk law application, it was also really hard but not this hard. how do i explain why i want to do something i've done naturally for years? its like explaining why i wear tshirts. (uh, because i have a lot of them, i guess.) ok its not. im rambling.

but yeah, thats another thing i've been thinking about. its hard to seriously consider what i really really passionately want to do in life..? cos it feels so important to me and im afraid i would spoil it by making a career out of it. or i would be jaded because its not as great as i thought it was. its probably easier to think about something more detached. less of a heartbreak, if there is one. but i guess thats not right.

well theres a thousand and one more things but i should probably get back to my essays. or bathe.

will be back on 27th. will miss everyone, and my guitar. hope i dont freeze to death/get kidnapped and have my organs sold illegally. (legally is fine. haha. no just kidding of course not.)

2008-01-18, 8:50 a.m..
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