} call me irresponsible

these past few days have been kind of weird, cos THE day is looming. haha. =D unlike previous years, when i would shamelessly anticipate it, this year i've been losing track of time instead. since monday i kept thinking that my birthday is over already, then i would realise.. oh right. it hasnt even come yet. and i've been keeping track of these 3 days (today, tomorrow, saturday) by the things that are due then... so yesterday i thought chem test, chem test, chem test and for today im thinking econs essay, econs essay, econs essay and tomorrow i'll be telling myself physics spa, physics spa, physics spa. haha. as pathetic/scary as it sounds, thats how i've been keeping track of the days, and my homework. my memory is really failing me. =( anyway, so yeah, thats why i forgot all about my own bday until i got an sms from zong today. so i replied her thanks, only to realise only half an hour later that today isnt even my bday, HAHA.

ok i dont think im making much sense so yeah nvm.

anyway during one of the short periods of time when i WAS clearly aware of what day it is (haha) i kind of realised, hey today is the last day i'll be 17. and tomorrow i will be a full, legal adult. kind of cool and scary too, i cant decide haha. previous years, i would be half dreading my bday cos i didnt want to grow older, i didnt feel ready yet. i kept asking myself, when would i start to mature? when would i stop being so overly insensitive, when would i learn to dress up, when would i stop watching cartoons, and etc all the stuff that people would associate with being grown up. but i think i have come to the quiet conclusion that maturity comes, gradually, with time, and i wouldnt be able to stop it even if i wanted to. and it may not come in ways that i expect..it will probably come in little ways, the same way i know i've changed from the girl who first entered njc a year ago. i may still wear baggy old shirts rather than nice tops, and im still often too lazy to do stuff i know i should, and i still watch spongebob squarepants.. but at the same time i have become a little more comfortable with myself, and blah blah suddenly i dont feel like typing anymore haha.

later.

oh yeah and this is for JENNINGS, who just found my blog... CONGRATULATIONS. hahaha. i cant even find my own blog when i try googling hahaha.

2007-05-10, 6:35 p.m..
before } after