} i suck at short descriptions

have you ever looked at something closely? like, very very closely? i have... i used to do a lot of graphics stuff on the computer and i used to have this bad habit of staring right into the screen, to the point where i could actually COUNT EACH PIXEL on the screen, just to make sure that everything is perfect. i dont do it anymore though. anyway, you know how it feels to focus on something so closely, and you kind of lose sight of everything else?

thats what i've been doing for the past...week, without even realising it. i only realised it, only had the sense to draw back and regain the bigger picture, last night. i dunno how these things come to me. maybe God has been hitting me with an invisible hammer all this time and i've only just noticed.

cos i deserve to be hit by a hammer, invisible or not, seriously.

...
i forgot someone's birthday.

i have to confess, i do forget birthdays sometimes, but if its not too late to get a last minute present or send a quick sms then i never ever admit it. yes im horrible that way. i just think that forgetting a birthday, especially one which belongs to someone who is important, is really a horrible thing. so im usually too embarrassed to admit. but i dont think i've ever forgotten to the point that i only remember it a few days later.

and there was no reason why i should forget. i set a reminder a freaking week ago, but i must have been so caught up with myself that i just brushed everything aside. all the things that seem so obvious to me now, i missed them all. i was looking at me myself and i too closely, i forgot everyone else. i got deeper, but i didnt really get anywhere at all.

to the person involved, yes im still really very sorry.

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moving on to less 'deep' things.. =D today was the last ep of hana kimi! sighh. although i prepared myself for a lousy ending i still couldnt help feeling disappointed. =( i think they left some strings hanging...

like quan's issue with his family, esp his brother. during the tian luo episodes it was quite clear that quan could relate to him somewhat, since his brother also seems to be an aspiring ah beng, and they could have connected those eps to quan's own struggle to repair his relationship with his brother. but noo... they just left it as it is at the field trip eps and im kind of pissed about that. =/ i mean ookay so ruixi and quan had that nice touching moment where ruixi was comforting him, but so what! he still has to go back home one day... -_-

one thing im happy about is that xiuyi got his 'happy ending'... at least he found interest in another girl so he knows he's not really gay, haha. the whole suicide attempt thing was quite funny too ahaha. =D oh and the last ep, while its not very satisfying, at least had a good share of humour. the coin 'trick' and the scene at the recording studio ('what i've been meaning to tell you is...' '...WAITTT! LET ME GO FIRST') had my brother laughing into the commercials, he really couldnt stop. -_-

oh and while im in a good mood let me talk abt my phy results which we just got back today... its kind of funny, in a grim way, because i got the same grade as my CT1 last year. aha. =D i got 44.5, which will be rounded up i hope, so thats a borderline E! much better than i expected .. i dunno whether to be happy, or to feel guilty for being happy, cos i think my parents wont be too happy about my sine-curve performance at physics ..

ok well! i guess im happy that i decided not to retake malay. i really need more time to work on physics. i suspect i havent done very well for maths n econs either so i will need to work on those too... and then theres my h3, i have to consolidate all the material from last year, and i havent been revising anything at all obviously, since we had no CT for h3.. so i think i will use this exam-free period up until the june hols to revisit my h3 so i can hopefully get a decent a level pass for it.

im worried about SYF too! .. bah but oh well syf will take care of itself.

2007-03-19, 9:07 p.m..
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