} the pursuit of happ(i)ness

watched The Pursuit of Happyness today. it was good, although i admit it left me with a sort of depressed feeling because a lot of it was very sad (despite the title). although i've said too many times how 'broke' i am, i realise i've never known how it feels like to be really, really poor. like no money at all. not just an empty wallet, but an empty bank account as well, and no financial support i.e. parents. and no job, no place to stay. its a scary thought. i dont think i would have survived the way that guy in the movie did.

and the movie made me feel a bit scared, cos its really a competitive world out there. the 'politics' involved in the syf team matters... thats barely a taste of whats really out there. its survival of the fittest, and i dont think im fit enough. its not a matter of excelling any more, but really just surviving. if im already facing so much trouble with the things around me now, then i'll probably just get trampled on in the real world someday. =|

i just dont feel like i have as much spirit and determination as last time. or sincerity.

well. anyway.

today i once again felt like there must be something wrong with me.

maybe.

will i be able to find happiness?

/end vague monologue

2007-03-08, 6:40 p.m..
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