} extremely loud and incredibly close

i dunno how to get rid of the stupid technorati thing on the sidebar. i did it to find out what my blog's rank is, just for curiosity's sake, now i dunno how to take it off. even if i knew i would be too lazy.

i did a very bad thing today. it was probably the ultimate sin of omission. i was with suhui at the toa payoh lib, and suddenly out of nowhere we heard a young/middle-aged/old guy shouting, like 'EY!....EY!..' repeatedly, like he was helpless, or in pain, or just been robbed, which wasnt likely since no one was running. the whole time i knew i should probably see whats happening and see if he needs help, he could have been suffering from a fit (in which case he could have bitten his tongue and bled to death) or a heart attack (in which case he could have died too). but i just sat there.

i think at that time i really understood the meaning of a very loud silence. cos the man's cries really quietened the whole place (and tp lib is usually quite noisy, for a lib) and everyone seemed to have frozen in their tracks, like we were all waiting for Someone to do Something. and in that silence his cries (for help? of anger? of pain?) sounded really sharp and penetrating. extremely loud and incredibly close.

and then he stopped. maybe he fainted, maybe he regained his senses, he might even have died and none of us present there would have known. but then everything just went on as usual like nothing ever happened.

this is the kind of situation where i keep telling myself that i should take the initiative. but when it came to the real thing, i found that i couldnt, or wouldnt, do it. am i just that kind of passive person? maybe. maybe im the type who will stand there and wait for Someone to do Something. maybe im just a spectator.

Is a person moulded by their personality, a set of attributes that is already fixed for them? Or does a person change with every new decision that he/she makes?

2007-01-13, 10:53 p.m..
before } after