} its hard to get up when you've been sitting down too long

yeah. seriously.

sometimes you think you're not ready yet, so you wait for the right moment. but its never going to come. its like you're sitting in a bus, and you're not sure if you're going the right way, so you wait for some obvious sign to tell you 'HEY IDIOT, YOU'RE LOST'. but it wont come so you really end up lost. see thats why i keep missing my stop. but thats beside the point.

these few days i've been watching a lot of DVDs. bridget jones, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, the terminal. i sit on the sofa, watching those people get their happy endings. and somehow, i get so used to sitting in the audience that i forget to do anything for my own life.

and i only just realised that this is what i've been doing for a long long time. just sitting in the audience. just waiting. watching other people accomplish things, chasing their dreams. and i get so jealous of them because hey, here are people doing what they want to do and here i am being miserable. but i forgot that being in misery is my choice, and i can always choose to get up and walk out from the theatre.

if i want something, i've got to really want it. and fight for it. and im not going to wait any longer.

2006-09-04, 4:41 p.m..
before } after