} scars run deeper than the wounds

i was reading kelsey's blog... and one of the entries really made me think. (and you know how bad it is when i start to think.)

anyway. i guess people's words, and sometimes lack of them, can really have a big impact on you. even if you never realise it at first. and sometimes, it gives you a big impact and you are aware of it, and after a few days maybe it wears off and you think that you've gotten over it. but you probably haven't. you probably only feel that way because you've changed and adapted yourself to what the person said to you.

then i started wondering about the events in my life which might have changed me. for the worse, for the better. in a way my story is similar to kelsey's. since sec 1 and sec 2, i've somehow learned to be more sensitive to others and less selfish. but on the downside i mellowed down too. i spoke up less and less.

i dont think anyone was born to be quiet. somewhere along the line, whether you were 13, or 6, or just a few months old, somehow what someone did or said to you taught you to keep some things to yourself because people don't often accept them. you learn that what others have got to say matter more than what you have. even though it may not be true.

but sometimes, you meet people that bring you up. not just the friends who you can 'really talk to'. these special people are those that give you the confidence to go on despite what others say.

people say that to have a good relationship it's necessary to have those heart-to-heart talks. to talk about each other's failings, settle differences, and all that. im not saying that it's bad. but sometimes it only makes things worse.

someone once said this, and it struck me deep: 'in life, you've got enough people going against you without your friends doing it as well'.

its true. :/

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ok i spent about 1 hour writing that so now my braincells are shutting down and i've stopped thinking, so yay! :D back to pointless blogging.

mmm i dont feel like writing about the camp at the moment. (cos i already wrote such a long chunk up there.) aanyway i feel like changing this layout. i was thinking maybe red and white for england to win the cup. hoo yay! :D

2006-06-06, 8:44 p.m..
before } after