} fighting fears

i realise that i have a really, really low AQ (adversity quotient). in the face of a scary situation, my first instinct is to run far, far away. literally. and i usually follow that instinct. and if i try to force myself not to run away, i just freeze up. the only thoughts in my mind would be thoughts of running to a safer place...

sometimes people say that they have no fears, or they've fought their fears, or they just can't think of what scares them the most. maybe they're lucky. you never know what your greatest fear is until one day you suddenly find yourself in a situation where you can't help but shiver, or you are so choked up that you don't know what to do. (or, if you're anything like me, when you feel the sudden great urge to run far far away..)

the truth is, when you are facing your greatest fear, you probably won't know what to do. and if you are as hopeless as me, even if you've faced it a number of times, even if you are prepared, you remain at a loss when it comes to the real thing.

its true that in ij, you are very sheltered. i thought that i had overcome most of my fears, but i didnt realise that i only felt that way cos i was very very lucky and i was always so surrounded by comfort zones.

this is when the choice between whats right and whats easy becomes such a real challenge. sigh.

2006-01-28, 11:29 a.m..
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