} the time has come

new layout! i think this will be the last of the 'requiem' series... i doubt i have any more time to do another one after o levels, and i thought i should have a more cheery and less mope-y layout after o levels to embrace the new year.

ok. right. embrace... pft. im damn scared out of my wits to leave ij and go to jc. D:

oh well. anyway. i guess im back to blogging. no one comes here anymore anyway, and im not so angsty anymore heh heh. i thought about it and decided im not really the type of person to keep brooding about something, i just dont have the right mentality to be a depressed person! D: haha.

but it's good .. really.. (even though it means i cant join the in-crowd of nowadays-angsty-depressed-teen-bloggers.. but im not really missing out on anything eh) it means that im getting a bit stronger somewhat, not in the physical sense, but back to how i used to be anyway. ok. maybe less bratty. but a bit more firm, a bit more stubborn. maybe i'll regain my confidence somehow so i can make SOME friends in jc. hahahaha.

*pathetic*

anyway we got back our prelim results. i deproved. :( by 2 pts. even though i studied harder this time, baaahh. although, after moderation, i improved by 2 pts. which i think is ridiculous. its like im bluffing myself. from 11 pts to 7 pts?? i mean, wth. anyway im just going to keep reminding myself that i actually got 11 through my own effort, so i'll have to do a lot better for o level.

i just cant figure out how to do better for english and humans, thats all. oh gawd. i swear i cant seem to write any essays right, now. i've sort of figured out how to get distinctions for maths and sciences, but i got to figure out english and humans now... i've never gotten a single A for english or humans since sec 3, i think. i've consistently maintained a lousy B for both. its not so much as the grade that worries me, but really the fact that I HAVENT BEEN IMPROVING AT ALL. better figure out how to salvage those subjects before its too late.

it's all coming really fast, now... soon it will be the practical exams, then the written papers, then o levels are over. then grad nite.. then leaving IJ...

omgwtf. its too damn fast. i dun wanna leave ij yet. *clings on* whyamisuchawuss D:

2005-10-04, 10:28 p.m..
before } after