} life taught me to die

everybody's just a stranger
that's the danger of
going my own way
i guess that's the price i have to pay
still
'everything happens for a reason'
is no reason not to ask myself
if i'm living it right

i love john mayer. somewhat like lifehouse. but more human. and he rocks at playing the guitar.

i have a lot to do. but as usual im still sitting here, haha. but i just couldnt resist checking on my PLUSHIES PRODUCTION at neopets.com... (i know im damn childish, dont rub it in.) and its quite tricky cos i have to calculate my moves or i'll go bankrupt in a few days time (i think i will anyway) but the good thing is i just have to spend 15 mins on it every night, so its not really a time waster. :)

and anyway my attention span is so short, i'll probably forget about it by next week. bad thing is i would have found something else to be obsessed with by then, wahaha.

sigh. school is now more pressurising than ever.. especially now that i've got a psycho ss teacher who will call up parents if homework isnt done.. T_T and i was enjoying my 1 1/2 years of not doing ss homework! hahaha. its not just her.. met is constantly psychoing the class to beat 4/1, and my malay o level results look very bleak (RAARRRGH), and physics is just un-understandable. and its weird that with all this stress coming in, along comes all the emotional & mental problems. its like everything thrown in at once. and im finding it quite hard to be sane, im already laughing at practically anything and everything, haha.

and usually i have my own ways of not letting the stress affect me, but now practically the rest of the world is trying to tell me that its WRONG to be unaffected by the stress. haha. its all so screwed up, so fucking screwed up. i wonder why no one else sees it. or maybe they do, i wouldnt know cos im blind too. (that rhymed!)

but anyway. im not stressed. but i guess im sort of stressed because im not stressed when i should be. yeah its confusing, i know. dont break your head over it. hahaha.

anyway i just remembered that im supposed to have some exercise program for PE. HAHA. .. what a joke, man.

im not even going to bother. i dont want to bother with geog either. but sigh. the guilt is too overwhelming. no actually its not, im just lying. but i'll try to find the time/determination to do it. its about time i do my holiday homework anyway. hahaha.

while i thought that i was learning how to live, i have been learning how to die. -- leonardo da vinci. well well. i think im stuck in the same kind of confusing situation right now. unfortunately i dont think i'll end up painting million-dollar paintings any time soon, sigh.

2005-07-05, 7:03 p.m..
before } after


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