} lost at sea

i dunno. im so damn confused. frankly i think i feel a bit hurt. but i dont want to blame it on you, i dont want to regret it later. so maybe its just me. im too sensitive.

i dunno why im so sensitive that im so easily hurt, and yet im so damn insensitive that i can hurt others so easily.

its not that i dont care. i just dunno what to do. or maybe i do but i dont have the fucking initiative to do it.

i suck, remember?

i never wanted to rot in a hole so badly.

but tomorrow i have confi camp and it sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks.

supposed to be a time to open up with God and everything.

but im seriously not in the mood. i guess i can at least confess all my sins. or maybe i wont dare to confess some of them so i will be a fucking liar on top of everything else. oh wait. i always was. hahaha.

this is keeping me from moving on, i know. this bad mood. i keep feeling resigned, and then terrible because its not right to feel that way. and my indecisiveness in figuring out what the fuck im feeling is irritating me. hence the bad mood.

rah

im locked up in chains
for the rest of my life
theres no one else to blame but me

the start of the day's
just the end of the night
im feeling like im lost at sea
sometimes it just seems so simple
im feeling like im down on my knees
sometimes like a man in the middle
i dont know my own mind
wont you let me be

.
.
.

..when i find my
own peace of mind
i will believe

2005-06-02, 11:30 p.m..
before } after