} mrrrfffl

so after skipping church and warden duty for 2 weeks straight (haha going back to my old routine again) i went to church yesterday. and it felt good. maybe my guilt was eased, haha. the novena priest came and his sermon was quite good.

he talked about how God only wants everyone to be happy. and the only reason why people are so unhappy is because they are always doing what they think will make them happy. and they dont follow God's will. so things kinda dont work out, you know? and then it all becomes God's fault.

kinda sad, actually.

anyway, so his point was basically that we should just ask God what he wants us to do, and do it, even if it may not be what we want to do. because then things will always turn out for the best. maybe not for us. but for everyone.

but its hard to be so selfless like that, isnt it. bah. :(

but still, his sermon kinda came at the right time, especially now when i've been forced to make some important decisions. sigh. at least God knows that im too stupid to make my own decisions. :(

i went for quite a long walk to think things over but still couldnt come up to a proper conclusion. i really dunno what i want. what God wants. so im just kinda wandering around. waiting for someone to find me? yeah maybe.

rah rah rah rah rah!!! :((

i feel like throwing something.

i have to find a better way to let off steam.

2005-05-23, 9:49 p.m..
before } after