} yeah.

this is going to sound weird but i think im perpetually half-asleep.

a few nights ago i had this weird dream. which i cant remember anymore. but i remember that it was disturbing cos when i woke up i felt so relieved that it was only a dream. well right after i had that dream i had another one.. and in that second dream i told someone about my first dream. and then something bad happened. and after that second dream i kinda forgot the first dream anyway, so i couldnt tell anyone.

then today i kept hearing things. first i heard people talking, like teachers in a meeting or something, then i heard my phone ring twice. but there was no one else in school except me and novita and the security guard. and my phone wasnt ringing at all.

i dunno. i just sometimes feel like im not sure if what i experienced was real or only a dream. sometimes i look back on a memory and wonder if it really happened or whether it was a dream i had.

for all i know im only imagining things now.

i dunno i dunno i dunno

oh well today was a good day.

at the minimart i met this old malay woman who asked me to help her find yellow food colouring. so i helped her look. which took some time cos all the colourings look red, just the labels are different. so i found it for her, and she started telling me about how she wants to fry bananas and how the colouring makes them look all nice and.. yeah.

that was kinda nice in a way. you dont meet friendly people like that so often.

then on the way to school i saw mr francis cycling out of the back gate so i waved to him. hahaha. he smiled back. old people look nice when they smile. hawhawhaw.

then halfway through studying the security guard came over and gave us some food cos the OM bought too much food for him. oh well. free food! must give him another souvenir soon. humhum.

so..well...nice day today.

i decided to have a new positive outlook. cos worrying wont do much help. the time spent on doubting yourself, feeling bad about yourself and others, etc can be spent making someone else happy. even if it hurts. the hurt is worth taking someone else's pain away.

i tried to tell someone about the rotten feeling i've been having since last year, but its hard to convey the guilt.

so i'll just try to push it aside now.

so anyway to end off my happy happy day i got my samurai x dvds! hawhawhawhawhawhaw. :D:D:D

2005-05-07, 8:54 p.m..
before } after