[your piercing cries
stabbed my heart]

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i had chilli crab for dinner.

let me leave a space while i soak in your jealousy.

the only thing missing was the fried mantou (sp?) to dip into the chilli crab gravy. ahhh. heaven. had to use some gardenia hotdog bun instead. but chilli crab gravy is still chilli crab gravy... <3

i had been having a heavy head for some time now. but now, after dinner, i walk with a heavy head, a heavy stomach and a heavy conscience. because i still havent started studying for my prelim, or for anything else for that matter.

i have developed a fatal allergy to studying. when i think of studying, my system goes on hibernate mode. oh no!

its like trying to open a big program, like photoshop, and then opening a huge file around 200MB or something. if you have a powerful machine, the thing opens in a jiffy. when your machine isnt in tiptop condition, it does the worst thing a computer can ever do - it lags. when this happens the computer almost always ends up being rebooted.

so you have two choices - keep persevering, or forget about doing that huge task. when you have an alternative, more advanced machine, its probably a likely option. however God gave me one and only one pair of machines up here, and both sides are laggy.

so the only way i can study is to force myself, only to have to reboot about ten minutes later (rebooting equals 'short' nap of a few hours or a snack or a tv break or even dropping dead). cos if i dont do that i will only occupy my mind with less strenuous tasks.

which is called procrastination.

i would rather go for rebooting over and over. maybe someday when i have money i will go and upgrade. but until then i will have to survive exams on a pentium 1 set of brains.

2005-04-23, 9:30 p.m..
before } after