} humanity

[picture of humanity.]

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i have been a pig... i havent been doing work. and i havent been feeling guilty about it. at all. its like, i used to worry when theres so many things to do. but now i just stare at them and start counting off the things that i wouldnt get in trouble for not doing...or the things that i dont have to do yet.

i keep putting off everything. my motivation is subsiding. i keep thinking its ok if i fail. its ok if i waste my time. hey so what. its like i seem to have stopped caring totally...

and nowadays when i look at something, i dont see it. i stare past it. until all i see is a blur of colours. my mind is emptying itself, during class all i can think of is how long i have to last before i can sleep in between lessons.

this is bad. this is bad.

i need to pull myself together.

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and i'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine here
and if we all believe in heaven
maybe we'll make it through one more year
down here

and i didn't get to say goodbye
i really wish i got to say goodbye.

2005-03-27, 9:16 p.m..
before } after