} give a little bit

self awareness. well. im certainly very aware of myself now. i cant say im happy with what i saw in myself.. but i guess im learning more and more about myself and its good.

the sharing session really opened up my eyes. at first i felt really bad cos i sort of screwed up my own sharing... the whole atmosphere just made my thinking illogical and i couldnt really think properly anymore. but now it doesnt really matter... because whats more important is that now i know about other people's problems.

my problems arent really all that bad. if anything .. they're really just a lot of things i have to deal with within myself. when i got affected at that time it was really due to all the things i had heard from the other people.. maybe the gratefulness just overcame any logic i had.

i guess what hurt the most was knowing that the people who deserve to receive the most have been just giving and giving. and i've been taking a lot. i dont deserve that. i always knew im somewhat selfish but i was never aware im this selfish. but i guess everyone in the class will be able to open up more now.

i mean.. just from the time of the sharing everyone is already being more sensitive to one another. that was really really nice. it will take time for me to resolve the issues within myself... but i think i will try harder to give more from now on.

ms jo teo was really good. im glad i see her in this new light now. im glad i can see a lot of people in a new light.

Thank you God.

----------------------------------

i failed to share about arc again. its so hard to explain. everytime i try i get stuck and somehow i can only describe the superficial things. its so hard. so hard to talk about the things that matter the most.

----------------------------------

empty apartment - yellowcard

call me out
you stayed inside
one you love
is where you hide
shot me down
as i flew by
crash and burn
and i think sometimes
you forget where the heart is

answer no
to these questions
let her go
learn a lesson
it's not me
you're not listening
now cant you see
something's missing
you forget where the heart is

take you away
from that empty apartment
you stay and forget where the heart is
someday if ever you loved me
you'd say it's okay

waking up
from this nightmare
how's your life
what's it like there?
is it all
what you want it to be?
does it hurt when you think about me?
and how broken my heart is

take you away
from that empty apartment
you stay and forget where the heart is
someday if ever you loved me
you'd say it's okay

it's ok to be angry and never let go
it only gets harder the more that you know
when you get lonely if no one's around
you know that i'll catch you when you're falling down
we came together but you left alone
and i know how it feels to walk out on your own

maybe someday i will see you again
and you'll look me in my eyes
and call me your friend

take you away
from that empty apartment
you stay and forget where the heart is
someday if ever you loved me
you'd say it's okay

it's okay.

----------------------------------

oh man. i want my own guitar. suhui taught me a few notes and now playing it is one of the few things i can think about. oh man. cant wait to learn guitar...if i end up learning it that is.

----------------------------------

learnt a new word: masochistic. hmm.



2005-02-19, 9:29 p.m..
before } after


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