} hm

ARGH.

I wrote an angsty stress-relieving entry about church camp but it was gone because i accidentally pressed Back and when i pressed Forward the whole thing was GONE.

so i rewrote it. then THE SAME BLOODY THING HAPPENED AND IM NOT GOING TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING AGAIN.

ok. im going to revise my summarising skills.

i went for church camp. didnt know anyone. had no friends. felt left out. (all the time.) followed people around. felt disgusted with myself. couldnt make friends. disappointed with myself. today's priest's homily was about how everyone is special in God's eyes so no one needs to think about others' expectations. nearly cried cos thats what i've been doing throughout the whole camp. thats why i was so scared to talk to people. so annoyed with myself.

basically... i was NOT showing the decent side of me during camp. even though people were nice. i kept giving myself the excuse that i dont like the people there but its not true. well for most of them anyway.

well its all over and i let everything out (three times now) so i dont want to talk about it anymore. and at least now i know how it feels to be really left out. so i wont be so stupid next time and go to a camp thinking i can survive on my own. and i will try not to leave others out because it really, really hurts.

im hungry. which is a good thing, cos throughout the camp i wasnt hungry at all cos i was feeling so lousy. :(

but actually the camp activities were quite fun. i just had the wrong mindset issall.

i wish i could redo the camp again and i could have had a much better time then.

but nvm. im hungry.

All Things Are Possible - Hillsong United

Almighty God, my Redeemer,
my Hiding Place, my Safe Refugee,
no other name like Jesus,
no power can stand against You.

My feet are planted on this rock,
and I will not be shaken,
my hope it comes from You alone,
my Lord and my Salvation.

Your praise is always on my lips,
Your Word is living in my heart,
and I will praise You with a new song,
my soul will bless You Lord.
You fill my life with greater joy,
Yes, I delight myself in You,
and I will praise You with a new song,
my soul will bless You Lord.

When I am weak You make me strong,
when I'm poor, I know I'm rich,
for in the power of Your name.
All things are possible,
all things are possible,
all things are possible,
all things are possible!

2004-12-12, 8:09 p.m..
before } after