} i have to try harder

i dont know. yesterday gloria told me i got guts (long story) and i said OF COURSE, or i wouldnt have any insides.

but now i dont seem to have any at all. i feel so empty. its the stomach thing that i get when im really worried/nervous about something.

the robot 'cannot make it'. i dunno what to do. i can give whatever excuses. but i think.. the truth is i just cant trust myself with it anymore. i dont want to screw up again.

or maybe i just cant be bothered with it anymore. i dunno. you can think all you want.. cos i dont even know what im feeling anymore.

the presentation seems to be going ok though. i really hope we will do it well this time. maybe the judges will remember us.. like... "last year they went to mars, this year they got into an accident."

:) oasis. brings back happy memories.

im feeling that stupid feeling again... im angry cos i cant throw off my anger at anyone.

if you think you can't commit yourself, then don't make any promises.

i dont care if you still choose to do it, just dont raise the expectations of people around you.

im definitely disappointed... with some people, including myself... i really thought i could actually put in enough effort into a new area, but i screwed it up again anyway. well. next time maybe i should just stay in my comfort zone, but even at that im not that good.

that message... wasnt directed at anyone in particular.. and even if it was, i wouldnt tell you.

im just...worried sick... in a sense, i trust her cos she can do in a day what i do in a week...and she probably does it better anyway.

njrc may have been bad... but FLL was so fun and it still should be.. for EVERYONE. i hate to see it being ruined.

torque. dont jeopardise the team. she deserves more than that.

effer. things not going right, but she's trying so hard.

whims. i just hope we can bring back that spirit. put aside personal feelings...for the team. i have to learn to do that too.

IJ. lets make this work. we're going to take back what that school stole from us.

2004-11-19, 10:24 p.m..
before } after